I will be ruined
A funny joke at a defendant:
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer."If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.""It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer."Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?""Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!""I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them.""But I did send them.""What?? You did???""Yes. That's how we won the case.""I don't understand," said the lawyer."It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."