Joke collection 93

Q: How many Dario Argento fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to film the demise of the old one in explicit gorey detail, using obscure camera angles.

Q: How many schizophreniacs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Well, he thinks it's five but as we all now it's only him, so...

Q: How many people with multiple personality disorder does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but they're really three.

Q: How many manic-depressives does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but they keep changing it back and forth between the new and old bulbs.

Q: How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: At least five. If they all light up together the lightbulb will do so too.

Q: How many people in a Burger King advert does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "I can't change my lightbulb. But I can change my burger to a Burger King burger."

Q: How many futurologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. He just takes the old functioning one out when nobody's looking, just to be certain.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a futurologist?
A: About 6,000,000. You pack them together under high pressure and drop the result from 100 meters on his head. Even if he can predict it to happen he cannot change it, right?