Office Jokes 07

More Excuses for skipping out of work

1. I'm arranging financing for a car.

2. I'm arranging financing for a beef roast.

3. The couch I ordered umpteen weeks ago has arrived and this was the only time they could deliver it.

4. The refrigerator I ordered umpteen weeks ago has arrived and this was the only time they could deliver it.

5. The baby we arranged for nine months ago is arriving, and I think this is the time it's being delivered. (Note: This is an excuse that can't be used by just anybody. But if it's close to accurate, it's extremely effective.

6. I have been asked to serve on a presidential advisory panel.

7. I'm being sent to the moon by NASA.

8. It's Dayton's Warehouse Sale.

9. My back aches.

10. My stomach aches.

11. My hair aches. (This is more acceptable than ¡°I have a hangover,¡± especially if offered in the early afternoon.)

12. My biological clock is ticking.

13. I have to take my biological clock in for service.

14. My furnace won't stop running, and the goldfish are getting poached.

15. My central air conditioning won't stop running, and the goldfish are getting freezer burn.

16. Both my furnace and my central air conditioning won't stop running. The goldfish are fine but my basement is about to explode.

17. I have to go to the airport to pick up my mother.

18. I have to go to the airport to pick up my minister.

19. I have to go to the airport to pick up my minister's mother.

20. My broker needs to talk with me about diversification.