You're probably an Auburn fan if...

you can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
your wife's idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.

the Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, "What's that smell?"

you're a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.

you looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.

you joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.

you looked out for #1 and stepped in #2 !!!

you won't buy a Japanese car because you're afraid you won't understand what they say on the radio.

your kids go to a private school and they won't tell you where it is.

your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin' contests.